‘The Bigamist’ by Mary-Turner Thomson Book Review
Let’s talk about The Bigamist by Mary Turner Thomson. I’ve just finished reading it and I have what I like to call the ‘book blues’: where you feel sad and glum after finishing a book; and the better the book, the bluer I feel. I basically become Eeyore personified...
However, the reasons for the book blues on this occasion are slightly different. Why? I’m glad you asked… Firstly this book is based on a true story, one that became headline news around the world in the 2000’s. I remember seeing this story at the time and thinking “but how?” - relating to both how he managed to get away with it and how she didn’t twig who this man really was, which is explained in the book in a very open and honest way by Mary whose honesty throughout the entire book is refreshing and it makes the book so much easier to personify her and empathise with her (not that she ever asks for sympathy mind you).
This book is unlike any other because it seems so unbelievable that it’s almost incomprehensible; the plot seems like something out of an action/crime thriller book rather than being normal people’s actual lives. Over the 6+ years that the book spans you’re taken on a rollercoaster of emotion, anger and disbelief - the story becomes so dark and twisted that it takes a significant toll on the reader so you can only begin to imagine how those involved felt.
**SPOILERS/TRIGGER WARNINGS FROM HERE**
Despite the uncomfortable parts of the book (including emotional and mental manipulation, psychopathy, fraud, extortion and pedophilia), it is an important book to read and it’s important for people reading to recognise the traits of manipulators and liars - the likelihood is that if it seems suspicious then it most likely is and trust me, there was A LOT of suspicious behaviour in this book. I hope readers use it as a lesson learnt how not to treat people and how to recognise any red flags from partners, family members or strangers.
The term ‘psychopath’ is often bandied around frequently in today’s society, something we’re all guilty of doing, however Mary uses the phrase towards the end of the book and gives an explanation as to why this was the correct term that should define him. Throughout reading the book, I wouldn’t have immediately come to the definition of psychopath but I probably should have realised it sooner; after all he was married to 2 women, had 5 fiancées and was the father of 14 children from multiple different women. While that alone was worrying but not psychopathic, it was the behaviour of Mary’s husband (William Allen Jordan) that was diabolical: he lied about being a CIA agent and would therefore disappear for weeks/months at a time missing key holidays and moments in Mary’s life. Furthermore, he would lie to extort money out of Mary and goodness knows how many other women whilst making up completely fabricated stories, Mary estimates that William extorted a total of £200,000 from her which financially ruined her. Unsurprisingly, William was convicted for a multitude of different offences and was eventually released in 2016 and yet Mary’s biggest concern is other women that he potentially might extort, proving that although she was left with nothing, her spirit and care for others wouldn’t be broken.
My 3 favourite quotes from the book are:
“All memory is a learning experience and worthwhile regardless of its pain or joy”
“I do not believe and never have believed, that anyone is ‘evil’; I think that we are a combination of our nature and our experiences”
“...don’t hold on to the past. Life is too short to spend it looking back, so take whatever you can learn from any experience and use it to help you move forward”
For me personally, these quotes show how strong and resilient Mary is. Throughout the book I was basically this Spongebob meme to the left, however after reading all the raw, emotional details you completely empathise with her and realise that she’s an intelligent, educated and strong woman and therefore shouldn’t be dismissed or cast aside as a ‘stupid woman’.
In our society nowadays we are very dismissive and we instantly apply labels to people, however this book taught me that we should try and empathise with others rather than to write them off and discard them as if they are objects rather than people. We have to remember that we are a lot more technologically savvy and conscious now than we ever have been and we take the internet for granted, but back in the early 2000’s there was less prevalence of scams and internet fraud purely because it had barely been around 2 minutes then and therefore we should be more understanding of this situation and sympathetic to Mary.
We should use this as a lesson to us to be as well informed as we can be, feel inclined and empowered to ask questions if something doesn’t feel right and channel Mary’s positivity and strength to help us through tough times knowing that we can come out the other side and learn from our experiences.